Neodymium

I don't know anymore.

My bed is a neodymium magnet and my back is made of steel.

A pull so strong I could never hope to resist it.

Can I crawl out? I don't know anymore.


It's the only comfort I have left,

grasping for meaning

grasping for ground

grasping for cover


It's not safe out there for me.

They want me dead.

They want to gun me down in the streets.


Not my bed, though.

It welcomes me.

Despair welcomes me.

Isolation welcomes me.

I embrace it.

What other place will have me?

I don't know anymore.


The thick, cool comforters smother my flame

Or what little of it still burns


But outside is a hurricane

A tsunami

Can I protect myself from drowning in it?

I don't know anymore.


What even made my flame burn

Back when it still did?

I thought I knew

The source of its heat

The fuel that made it spark and roar

But these days it feels more and more like

I

don't

know

any

more

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